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best breakup line ever

January 28th, 2009 by Ari

My new diversion of the day (thanks to the New York Times), is Dating a Banker Anonymous (or DABA for short). It’s a blog where spoiled rich New York women can complain about how the economy is affecting them through their banker-guy boyfriends, or FBF for short. In order to save you time reading the blog if you don’t want, let’s just say that I’m not calling the women unabashed gold diggers, I’m just saying that many of them have no desire to be involved with someone making less then 6 figures a year. There are many funny posts and anecdotes, but this is by far my favorite. A woman recounts how she was dumped by her ex-FBF.

“Princess, we need to talk. How do I explain this? You are a costly investment. During better economic times, I was happy to spend a little extra to buy American, but now we are all being forced to make tough decisions and, well, bottom line: I can quite literally get more bang for my buck if I invest with a foreign model instead. Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?”

And that my fellow DABA girls is more or less how my girlfriend services were outsourced to an underage Russian model who was willing to provide services substantially equivalent to my own but at well-below market value and without the regulatory hassle.

That is, simply put, the funniest breakup story I’ve ever heard.

2 Responses to “best breakup line ever”

  1. David Says:

    Makes you wonder whether the Congress will enact any protectionist measures to protect this particular American industry, doesn’t it?

  2. Ari Says:

    Perhaps the treasury department needs to make some “direct injections” to “firm things up”.