I saw a teenager in clinic yesterday who was using what I refer to as the “hope method” of birth control, as in: “I hope I don’t get pregnant, but I’m not actually doing anything to prevent it.”  I asked her if she was trying to get pregnant, to which she replied definitely not,  but she and her boyfriend would be prepared to take care of any baby that came along…

I was thinking about that girl today, as well as the teenagers in Gloucester who apparently made a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together, while I was holding my own little daughter.  Aliza was crying miserably because I had put her down for 3 minutes so I could go to the bathroom.  One sometimes hears teens talk about wanting a baby so that they have someone to love them unconditionally.  What occurred to me in that moment is that I love Aliza unconditionally, but the reverse isn’t really true.  She recognizes my face, but at this stage she’s just as happy to smile back at almost anyone who smiles at her.   Love is a two-way street, which would mean Aliza going to sleep more than 5 hours before I need to be up for work again, or not screaming to be fed just as I try to sit down to eat, or maybe just peeing less often when I have her diaper open.

The challenge of having a baby is being able to love this little person as much as possible, and giving as much as possible, while knowing that the more substantive returns are further in the future.  Try explaining that to a teenager.

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 28th, 2008 at 9:14 pm by Rebecca and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.