I went to the phantoms game last night, and while there I noticed for the first time that their mascot, Phlex, looks an awful lot like the Chigs, the fictional space aliens from the shirt lives sci-fi series Space: Above and Beyond.

I have a lot of thoughts on the Mitchell report which I’m going to write about later, but for now there is a letter in today’s New York Times which is so funny it bares repeating in its entirety.

To the Editor:

When I was growing up in the 1970s, parents encouraged their kids to participate in sports to help keep them away from drugs. Now the most prominent drug abusers are professional athletes.

From the cyclist Floyd Landis to the sprinter Marion Jones to the scores of baseball players named in former Senator George J. Mitchell’s report, the list of confessed or alleged drug users goes on and on. And if so many pros are using, one has to suspect that thousands of aspiring high school athletes are dabbling in performance-enhancing drugs, too.

I cannot in good conscience encourage my kids to participate in organized sports and chance getting mixed up in such unsavory and self-destructive activities. To keep them straight and clean, I might better urge them to grow their hair long and start a rock band.

Adrian Cho
Grosse Pointe Woods, Mich., Dec. 14, 2007

W00t is crowned word of the year by Merriam-Webster Inc. I don’t know whether to celebrate or mourn the impending death of the English language.

There’s a Simpsons episode where the police force confiscates marijuana and publicly burns it in a large outdoor bonfire. People of course get high off the smoke, and chief Wiggum smartly orders his officers to throw a bag of barber hair on the fire. Surprising as it may seem, chief Wiggum was actually smarter than Hamas.

First, there is the headline:

Hamas burns ‘confiscated’ drugs

Intriguing, but let’s hear more. There’s the standard news conference where they show off the loot:

Hamas displayed tables full of marjiuana, hashish, cocaine and ecstasy at a news conference to show the results of its operations.

The blaming of political rivals:

Mr Ghussein accused rivals Fatah of allowing a drug culture to flourish and collaborating with Israel to corrupt Gaza’s youth.

Then, the Simpsons-esque solution to the problem:

Later, black-clad members of Gaza’s security forces tossed the drugs onto a fire, sending plumes of smoke over Gaza City.

Really, I don’t think anyone could make this up.

I’m making my prediction now: The Patriots will lose this coming week to the Steelers. Just remember: you read it here first.