If anyone was planning on calling me any time soon, don’t bother. After a nasty run in with the floor last night, my phone is now sitting in four discrete and inoperable pieces on the dining room table. If you need to get a hold of me, email me or call my wife.

I was trying to find the head of a certain department at work today, and I stumbled accross a guy names Jedd Smith (last name has been changed to protect the innocent). I looked him up in the directory and discovered that his midle initial is I. That’s right – Jedd I. Smith (Jedi smith). Even though he wasn’t the person I was looking for I was tempted to call him just so I could say “Hi – is this Jedi Smith?”

I’ve been reading over resumes the past couple of weeks (we’re bringing on a few people at the moment), and I’ve seen some incredibly poor resumes. In fact, it’s downright amazing that people can put down the wrong address for their school, or not spell their former boss’ name correctly. As a rule any skill you claim to have should also be spelled correctly. If you can’t spell ethernet or server, then we aren’t going to trust you to administer one. One person even spelled nmap incorrectly.

However, by far the most eye popping mouth dropping resume I’ve seen belonged to a student from New Mexico tech. It was a multi page resume that came in a black bound folder with a clear plastic cover. The cover page had his contact info on the bottom, and a big color picture of him on the top that covered about half the page. (I guess he wanted us to know what he looked like, but it also would have made more sense to use a picture where he wasn’t wearing an orange T-shirt). The second page had a cover letter talking about how he was once profiled in a local newspaper as a “teen who cared”, (This was for an IT job). He has a two page resume which included no real experience, a page of references, and a CD, which presumably has an electronic copy of all of this information on it. (No one has been daring enough to put it in their machine).

Then there was the resume I found today – it was a one line objective and the name of their school. That was it.

On a side note, if anyone happens to be reading this and has decent networking skills and the desire to become an IT auditor, feel free to apply. The description on the webpage sucks, but if you’re interested feel free to email me.

So I know the subject of translations from other languages has been beaten to death, but this one is too funny to be believed.

I was attempting to translate some pages from the Japanese Wikipedia on the subject of judaism, when I noticed that the Holy Ark in a synagogue (Aron hakodesh in Hebrew), was translated as Saintly Rice Tub.

sometimes my spam doesn’t make any sense at all

from: Theron Pearce <fmmssupport@1-call.com>
subject: Theron

Hello, beauty,
Pearce
Good Bye

Pearce
Pearce
Pearce
Pearce
Pearce
Pearce
Pearce
Pearce
Pearce
Pearce

They just started building a new office building in an empty lot accros the street. Currently they’re busy driving 30 foot steel beams into the ground with what can only be described as a really really freakin big device that’s supported by a crane”. (I’ll bring my camera tomorrow and take some pictures). The point is, that when I rest my arms on my desk, I can feel it shake with each clang that comes from outside as they drive the steel beam into the ground another few inches.

from here

PARIS (Reuters) – French police said on Sunday they were relieved that expected violence failed to materialise on New Year’s Eve, just weeks after the worst rioting in France in nearly 40 years.

…
Police said 425 cars were burnt, of which 177 were in the Paris region, and 362 revellers were detained. That marked a slight rise from the 333 burnt cars and 272 arrests last year.

Hat tip: blog head.

This showed up in my inbox this afternoon from our local councilman, informaing us how to dispose of holiday trees.

Holiday Tree Collection – January 3 – 14, 2006
Residents who receive DC trash collection service are encouraged to put
holiday trees – without ornaments or tinsel – in curbside tree boxes by
January 2, 2006. Trees will be picked up during a special two-week
collection from January 3 – 14. Residents who wish to keep their trees
longer should put them out at their normal point of trash collection
(curbside or alley) after January 14. DPW will then collect the trees along
with the regular trash, as truck space permits over the following weeks.

Michele Molotsky,
Office of Councilmember Jack Evans

Rebecca and I were at a wedding yesterday in New Jersey. Something about the way that state marks their streets (or doesn’t) leads to a lot of people getting lost. We ended up stopping at a gas station about 2 miles from the wedding and getting out to ask for directions. Before I could even open my mouth the attendent looked at me and said “Westmont country club – right?”. Apparently we weren’t the only ones who had made that wrong turn.

Anyway, the best part of the wedding was the toast given by the brother of the groom. He started off by saying how he was hitchhiking in Europe and got into a conversation with a guy about various wedding rituals. He had told the guy about the breaking of the glass at a Jewish wedding, and the guy had told him that apparently in his country, it’s customary for the brother of the groom (or best friend if there is no brother) to break a glass to show the bride that she has not taken the dumber of the two brothers. He was holding a glass cup and a napkin while he was saying this, so when he was done he held the napkin in his left hand, and with his right he smashed the glass cup into his head and sent shards of broken glass everywhere. It was, without a doubt, the best wedding toast I’ve ever seen.